Safety Alert : Surfing much safer than Team Sports

Ouch Surfriders , The proof is in , surfing is much safer than team sports . Above is a picture of an X-ray of an arm belonging to a chap who presented himself to me at a local park this Sunday. That's his left Humerus ( the long bone between your shoulder and your elbow ) which was snapped while playing flag football , by a over zealous opponent . The round thing at the top is his shoulder joint , he is 6' 5" and weighed 260 lbs. . Yes this took a lot of force and hurt really bad , but I hooked a brother up , they don't call me Dr. Feelgood for nothing . This validates my 7 year study of grossly deformed traumatic injuries , that any sport with rules and officials is very dangerous and we should maintain our anti social roots , and stay in the water were it is safe.
I know what your saying to yourself " hell I don't even feel safe in my local lineup ". Yup, your right , with the influx of Jack Asses , Idiots and Assclowns from Northern Virginia to Southern Georgia and everywhere in between , invading our local lineups you better have your insurance premiums paid up. Lets not forget those little local punk bitches from UNCW , out flailing and dream shredding with no due regard , because there from some rich neighborhood like Pine Valley. My suggestion for you and your safety is to head south young surfriders . There's oodles of pristine vacant breaks from Fort Fisher and beyond . I hear from one reclusive surfer ( so reclusive , no ones ever seen him surf ), that Sheephead Rock is vacant and as safe a spot as you'll ever find . I myself often park at the aquarium , grab my trusty Wings BodyBoard and walk for hours to bask in the safety of the uncrowded waters south of Corncake Inlet.

Let's not lose focus on my years of research , and remember that even surfing a crowded day at Sun Skipper is much safer than engaging in team sports and possibly being maimed by one of these Jocko Homo's whose out to settle a score for having his ass kicked in 9th grade gym class.

Surf Safe , and May Their Force not be Applied Against You , Zog